25 Jan

Two years ago I was in a really bad place. I’d never had a girlfriend, I had met a couple (literally 2) girls online and had had a total of 4 dates between them. Leading up to this I’d never had any luck with women. I love life was a string of me falling for girls, and eventually getting my heartbroken. My level of self loathing was immeasurable. It was then I met a girl online, she was from the Philippines. Now, it is unfair to class all Filipinos the same, but you can probably guess that this story doesn’t have a happy ending.

She was my first relationship, she was the first woman to tell me she loved me. We had only met once. I was head over heels and I never realised how much denial I was in. I thought I was happy but it’s only now that it’s over that I can see what an idiot I was.

She never loved me, I just wish I realised this 3 grand sooner. The amount of lies she spoon fead me that I was just willing to except. At one point someone I know actually created a fake profile and coerced her. I had evidence right in front of me and I screamed in its face and denied it’s existence.

I’m not too sure what I did to deserve this, I’m pretty sure that I’m a good, if not at least decent human being. I am pathetic. I have wasted the last two years of my life, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell any of my friends, I can’t tell my family. I can’t tell anyone. So I thought I would post my story on some random page on the Internet for some strangers to see in the hopes just getting it off my chest would make me feel better.

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